“animas sapientiores fieri quiescendo”
And now-cross-buns and pancakes o’er –
Hail, Lords and Gentlemen, once more!
Thrice hail and welcome, Houses Twain!
The short eclipse of April-Day
Having (God grant it!) past away,
Collective Wisdom, shine again!
Come, Ayes and Noes, thro’ thick and thin, –
With Paddy Holmes for whipper-in, –
Whate’er the job, prepared to back it;
Come, voters of Supplies – bestowers
Of jackets upon trumpet-blowers,
At eighty mortal pounds the jacket! 1
Come – free, at length, from Joint-Stock cares –
Ye Senators of many Shares,
Whose dreams of premium knew no boundary;
So fond of aught like Company,
That you would even have taken tea
(Had you been askt) with Mr. Goundry. 2
Come, matchless country-gentlemen;
Come, wise Sir Thomas – wisest then
When creeds and corn-lords are debated;
Come, rival even the Harlot Red,
And show how wholly into bread
A ‘Squire is transubstantiated.
Come, Lauderdale, and tell the world,
That – surely as thy scratch is curled
As never scratch was curled before –
Cheap eating does more harm than good,
And working-people spoiled by food,
The less they eat, will work the more.
Come, Goulburn, with thy glib defence
(Which thou’dst have made for Peter’s Pence)
Of Church-rates, worthy of a halter;
Two pipes of port (old port, ’twas said
By honest Newport) 3 bought and paid
By Papists for the Orange Altar! 4
Come, Horton, with thy plan so merry
For peopling Canada from Kerry –
Not so much rendering Ireland quiet,
As grafting on the dull Canadians
That liveliest of earth’s contagions,
The bull-pock of Hibernian riot!
Come all, in short, ye wondrous men
Of wit and wisdom, come again;
Tho’ short your absence, all deplore it –
Oh, come and show, whate’er men say,
That you can after April-Day,
Be just as – sapient as before it.
- An item of expense which Mr. Hume in vain endeavored to get rid of: – trumpeters, it appears like the men of All-Souls, must be “bene vestiti”. ↩
- The gentleman, lately before the public, who kept his Joint-Stock Tea Company all to himself, singing “Te solo adoro”. ↩
- Sir John Newport. ↩
- This charge of two pipes of port for the sacramental wine is a precious specimen of the sort of rates levied upon their Catholic fellow-parishioners by the Irish Protestants. “The thirst that from the soul doth rise Doth ask a drink divine.” ↩